They Really Are Taking over the World

I'd have to say that the first incident I had with the alien from outerspace happened the first week I was here, and was likely around the same time that Mikiko left for a couple of days. The monday after I arrived she went on a trip and didn't come back until Tuesday night.

So sometime during that interim, I was home alone and I heard a weird sound outside the door.

Tick. Tick. Tack. THUMP.

So I wrenched open the door. Nothing. Couldn't see a single person in sight. The only thing out there was a squirrel chittering out in the tree. An odd looking squirrel, admittedly. It was large, and was brown AND gray. So it didn't look like the darned gray squirrels we have at home that are nonindigenous. And neither did it look like the cute little redbellied brown squirrels we have at home either.

I shut the door on it's screaming, and went back to trying to bash my computer into submission.

Then the sounds started AGAIN. Along with the squirrel screaming getting louder. WTF was going on!

So I wrenched open the door just in time to see the squirrel in the middle of the lawn chucking nuts and rocks at a door a couple floors before me. So I screamed at it. Then I realized I had my camera in my hands, so I proceeded to annoy it by incessantly taking photos of it.

Oh boy that got it mad.

It ran up a tree and started screaming LOUDER and now it was chucking things at ME! How dare it!

So I put my telephoto lense on my camera and started taking up close and personal shots just to get on its nerves.

After 20 minutes we were at a standstill, and both of us retreated.

We would meet again.

The second time I was leaving the bookstore on campus, and bumped into Mikiko. It was a normal meeting of girls. The squealing of names, what are you doing here, where are you going. And then we decided to walk back home together. As we were talking, we walked by a tree. I was closest to it (and by default the flower border) and was forced to stop in my tracks.

There was a squirrel. Right there in front of my foot. it was 6 inches away. And I swear it was mocking me. Seriously. It sat there, looked up at me and said "Move, bitch." I really wanted to kick it. I scowled at it, and shuffled closer, and it still held it's ground. Then it started chittering at me!

So Miki stopped, looked over and said "How cuuuute!"

Not cute. NOT CUTE! Squirrels are evil.

Don't get me wrong, I loved them as a kid. In face, I usually love them now too. I HAVE a squirrel so I can't hate them. Yes, you heard me, I have a squirrel. And since this is a blog about college, you don't get the full story. But let's just say I hand raised a baby squirrel and the little terror runs in a rat wheel all day long and chucks things at me when her water runs out. Squirrels have tempers, you know. And before you ask if she's sweet on me, I'll tell you this. Chulee hates all humans, she just hates me a smidgeon less :)

So back to that thrice blasted squirrel. I can hear him out there screaming as I write this, by the way. No joke. It is SO annoying!

This morning he sat on the lawn and screamed at me the entire time I tromped down the stairs and threw more things at me as I walked across the lawn.

Stupid Varmint.

Then this afternoon as I was walking...somewhere, I can't remember where. I heard something in the low shrub in the border next to me. I thought a person was cutting across it so I looked. There was no one. Anyone. I was totally alone. I looked around, and then I heard it again!

I looked down, and brave as you please this squirrel was digging in the bushes. He occasionally snuck looks at me like he thought he was being subtle. But I saw him.

The Aliens have a watch on me.

I'm thinking about sending home for my .22 so I can shoot one of these buggers. Anyone know if doing that is illegal in the state of Oregon?

Regards from Purgatory,

Monica (No he was not Foamy, I promise.)