The Bad Luck Continues

I'll just come right out and say it: I got three F's on midterms. Out of 4 classes.

That isn't a terribly good ratio.

Literature was my own damned fault and the teacher gave me a makeup type thingy so I should pass with at least a C: I hope.

Spanish? I think EVERYONE got a bad grade in that class for midterm. And to recover ground she admitted to writing one of the questions poorly and gave points out (for free) to ppl who answered one of two ways....And of course I wrote it an unknown third way >.< Which means I likely did not get the points I desperately need.

The good news is that I improved my score on Spanish exams by 7% :D The bad news was that made it 59%.

Go figure.

Linguistics?

I studied, right? I did the homework, right? I did work with a classmate, right? I did the reading, right? I did the study guide, right? I sat down at the test, and was confident and not lost of stressed out, right?

I still earned a 57%, fair and square.

I hate my life.

Oh, and my bicycle was stolen again. Irritatingly enough.

Off of my doorstep. I figure it was mine that was stolen and not any of my neighbors' (we all prop our bikes next to our doors at my complex) because mine was closest to the street. I'm going to go around the rest of the complex checking doorsteps and racks today. I will not be amused if one of my neighbors has it, but I wouldn't be surprised.

The good news is that my writing teacher likes my writing and I passed the Progress Report (our midterm. a 15 minute meeting and a write up pretty much) nooooo problem. I'm getting a C or a B, so life is good.

If I get a B, two Cs, and a D I'll escape getting on Academic probation next term. But I can't have any minuses: I know better. It'll screw everything up.

I'm starting to doubt even a D in Spanish is possible. And since I so unexpectedly got a D in linguistics last term, I would not be terribly surprised if it happened again. But short of miraculously earning a B in Literature (*laughs hysterically*) and an A in writing, I soooocan't afford to get two Ds.

Although if I did get an A, B, and two Ds I would have better than a 2.0 GPA....Hmm...

I'd be happiest, though, if I got one D, one C, and two Bs. That would be bloody amazing.

Hmm...Possibly I can pull it off....

But I've tried everything to improve my test taking skills. Mostly because of my Spanish problems. The more I do, though, the worst I do. I've never been so great at taking tests, but I don't think I've ever earned an F on my own power. Unless I left the thing blank. And that happened very rarely to me.

*sighs*

Regards from Purgatory,
Monica

Hell Hath Frozen Over

I have bought a binder.

Yes, a dreaded binder. I can't remember the last time I attempted buying one of those (High School I'm assuming) But I can remember the last time I used one with any regularity:

6th Grade *shudders*

If you ever attended Hilltop Elementary before the year2003 you would know exactly what I meant.

So I was walking with Mikiko the other day and she was chattering about buying yet another binder (her fifth I believe. Not entirely sure what she fills them all with) and she turned to me, perplexed and asked in her chipper little confused voice "Why don't you have a binder, Moe-nica?"

Well Hell. I think the easiest way to answer that question would be "Why would I?"

I had high hopes for binders in High School. I remember the naive feeling of going out shopping for all sorts of school supplies and reassuring myself that this was the year I would be better, together, more organized.

I bought a small white 1 inch binder thinking that would be easier since I had had such a horrible time with the 2 inch one we were required to use in 6th grade. I went through 4 of those bloody things, I think.

I think I carried that blasted thing (the 1 inch binder) around for a few months before I realized it was in my pack. I was looking for my cd player that had been missing for a week, I believe. Instead I found my Biology book which had been missing for two.

We (my friends and I) called that backpack The Black Hole for a very good reason.

Back to 6th grade, though. They claimed they were preparing us for "7th grade" or something or rather. It was more like they were preparing us for boot camp, really. In 5th grade we had started a mild version of going to different classrooms for different classes, and that's all 7th grade was, really. But 6th? It was militant, I swear. The list of required school supplies was more than the other two grades in the school combined. I don't even want to ask how much Mum spent on me that year.

Specially since I kept breaking binders >.<

But we were required to have big binders, and to organize them in a certain way and blah blah blah...

Of course I ended up shoving everything into the side pockets. I mean, that's what they're for, right?

That's probably why the darned things never lasted very long.

But I have an odd way of keeping things straight in my head: I'm kind of a linear thinker, time wise. Not topic wise. So if I get a worksheet in Math it will come after the worksheet I got in English two hours earlier.

In my backpack, of course.

And I think that's how binders totally and utterly screw me up. If I organized them the same way I did my pack...Well it'd be no better than my organization skills now. Which are nil: I've been writing Spanish notes in my fictional stories and I'm having a blasted time extricating them because I have apparently written some Spanish in my stories >.<

And of course if I organize my binder the accepted way I'll get bloody tired of it (and confused taboot) and revert back to my old habits. Or just stuffing things in the pockets.

But I'm gonna give things a try. As I said when Miki came home yesterday and I announced I bought a binder....I must like and respect her a lot.

I mean, there aren't a lot of people I would buy binders for. Heck, I even bought a whole punch and those little dividers.

So beware: The Apocalypse is upon us because I have started to rethink my organizational skills....

Regards from Purgatory,
Monica

p.s. Has anyone seen a note book lying around? Don't care too much about the story but I suspect it has Spanish notes in it....:)

Conspiracies

My poptarts caught on fire and exploded this morning. 8 a.m. is much to early to be dealing with the smoke detector. I now smell of smoke.

Anyone have a better toaster? Preferably one newer than mine, that I suspect is from the 60's? I'd write more in explanation, but this is just so ridiculous that I'll leave it at this.

Maybe I'll detail more when I write a blog about my absolutely terrible luck recently.

Regards from Purgatory,
Monica

The Devil Incarnate

If I knew anyone out there who could draw caricatures, or editorial style comics: I'd pay good money for a drawing right about now.

My microwave is evil. Yes, I am calling it out: It is E.V.I.L.. I'm seriously debating giving it horns, a tail, and drawing an evil face with a goatee on it's front. Hence the drawing.

Actually, I'm not even entirely positive that it's a microwave.

Doubt #1

It sounds like a fan in a bloody GMC, and it's just as loud.

Doubt #2

Aren't these sorts of appliances supposed to interfere with wireless communications? I could bloody well put my cell phone INSIDE the "microwave" and other than it possibly melting, I'd still have perfect service.

Doubt #3

Does anyone else out there have to let the microwave warm up before they put food in it? After the first 5 meals that wero burnt to a crisp on the outside and frozen inside I learned to do that first. It's like an oven!!

It tried to assassinate me today. Either because I put the popcorn in without "pre-heating" it, or because it knows I'm onto it.

So I'm sitting at my (brand-new) desk at my computer and the popcorn has just started to pop and I hear a familiar sound. Don't ask me how it's familiar: I have no idea. But I realized immediately that it was the sound of electricity crackling.

FROM MY MICROWAVE!!!

So I'm terrified out of my wits, right? Electricity is the one thing that'll well and truly scare me: Once someone gave me a stun gun for protection and I gave it away at the first opportunity without ever laying hands on it.

So I'm hopping through the kitchen trying to decide if I want to ruin my popcorn by turning it off (It's an old fashioned timer dial, easy to stop) or if the plastic handle of the microwave will conduct electricity. I remembered vaguely my science classes and thought that I'd try a plastic pen to check my theories. I figured, small point of contact if I was wrong, right?

The damned thing spit electricity at me! Note to self, it's RUBBER, not plastic.

I swear I jumped 4 feet backwards. But it was STILL spitting from underneath. I thought "Well look, one of my plastic stress hand toys is kinda underneath. Maybe it's just hot and it's melting?"

So I prodded it out from under the "microwave" and the sparking got LOUDER.

Now I'm freaking out and Miki is innocently asking from the living room "Is your popcorn okay?"

I hop around the kitchen for a bit trying to think of anything rubber in the house, and ask Miki "Does Rubbermaid actually make RUBBER tupperware?" I trash that idea pretty quick though: I can smell the popcorn burning.

I've got a minute left on the timer, I KNOW the popcorn's been in there too long now cause there is waaaay more than 3 seconds between pops and I say screw it and use our notepad from the counter to turn it off.

Apparently paper does NOT conduct electricity.

Whatever I woke up expecting to happen today, definitely did not include a hands on science experiment that risked my life.

Anyone want a microwave?

Regards from Purgatory,
Monica

A Jumble of Thoughts

Today I have no set agenda. No list of complaints or injuries against me.

Just a jumble of ideas, which reflects my current mindframe.

Today I see a nurse practitioner here on campus to see whether I have ADHD or not. Yes, I realize that I am not obligated to take any medications they prescribe me, and yes I realize that it doesn't matter if I have an attention deficit. But I would like to have proof if I do indeed have an attention deficit. I don't know about you, but it'd be a great relief to have a little piece of paper at my disposal that says "No this person isn't stupid, she just has trouble focusing. Look, she's even diagnosed!"

The appointment is at 2. I can feel my hands shaking. I can't say whether that's nervousness, hunger, or low blood sugar. But considering I had those Ritz cracker munchies with peanut butter between them and Hershey's milk chocolate kisses not too long ago....It's probably the former.

I hope I don't act like an idiot.

I have an interesting classmate. He's an English major, like myself, and very interesting to talk to. I go out of my way to walk places that I don't need to walk to just so I can prolong conversations with him. I get the feeling that if the campus was large enough to have a...walk through the park we would take it just to have...philosophical discussions. For a lack of a better term.

We take Linguistics together. And try to meet at least once a week to do homework together. I'm not sure he gets anything out of this deal: his wife works on things with him at home and he's much more together than I am. And I'M the one with the procrastinating/not doing homework in general problem. But we have good off-topic discussions and still get homework done.

And he makes me laugh.

Or my making him laugh makes me laugh. I'm not sure. I feel like a behemoth, though. Stumbling through the English world with two huge left feet, and he makes me feel okay about myself. Surprisingly enough. I stutter, I stumble, and I forget what the heck I was talking about...But I make him laugh and enjoy himself and that makes me ecstatic.

So today I awkwardly admitted that I might possibly be a writer (I know I know: Denial is not just a river) and he didn't look at me funny, laugh, or make fun of me. He just said "Yes," in that patient tone of his. "And?"

So recently I've been having this lovely problem. I'll know EXACTLY which word I want to use. I build the sentence specifically for this word, have the tense and aspect in mind (ask a linguistics major what that means), and know the exact definition of the word. On a good day I might even remember the first letter as well.

But for the LIFE of me, I cannot recall which word it is! It drives me nuts! Do you know how you can tell when someone overuses a word and uses the thesaurus to "insert a better one"? Well when this annoying thing happens (at least 2 or 3 times a day) I have to insert a different word as a placeholder, or restructure the entire thought for a lesser word.

Which pisses me off.

So I've taken to (instead of the placeholder words) writing in parenthesis the definition of the word I want, and the first letter.

Then I ask that classmate of mine. Now this is sad: We study, we talk, we sit next to each other, we walk...I still can't remember his name >.<

But he's a font of information. When I asked him if Principé was a real word, he could tell me yes. When I brought up the word scion he told me exactly how to say it. He's the one who believed me when I said that 'hist' was a real word and stood there chuckling when I looked it up in the dictionary and lo and behold! It was there!

So I told him about my placeholder words and the parenthesis and he offered his help. That wonderful wonderful man. I am forever indebted. And he'll never get away! *laughs manically*

So I brought him one of my problems. I said, "Look, I need a word that means take apart, analyze, starts with a D, and has to fit the sentence "He'll tear himself apart for hours (blank)ing my nod, and my expression""

He got it in one. Deconstruction! I knew it was the word. I knew it would fit. It was exactly what I wanted from the beginning. But it just...fluttered away like a butterfly. And I HATE that I have all these amazing words that I know how to use and don't get to because of my faulty memory. Makes me feel stupid, and that I use plain words much too often.

Sometimes I'll remember on my own. For instance I had difficulties with another D word.

"Lucius doesn't let himself (think, waste time, debate) on why he's on Harry Potter's doorstep" (don't ask, btw)

Two days later I thought of the word DWELL.

OMG! It fits perfectly.

So I have a brain (which means I have one up on that scarecrow man), but it has holes in it like a sieve, obviously.

URGH.

Also, I needed to know about fragments and incomplete sentences. They've been bugging me, but I haven't been able to ask my linguistics Professor about them because I couldn't remember what they were called.

So today I asked that classmate (bless him) and he didn't even twitch when I tried to say "un-complete" sentences.

So I asked Dr. Paraskeva's (with the man at my side) whether they were okay for non-academic writing, and whether this particular one worked: "To the absolute delight of his classmates."

She was absolutely tickled pink. Fluttered around excitedly for a bit, showed me an article on how fragments could be used as idioms (a new idea I learned just today) and shoved me out the door exclaiming about how that sentence was perfect.

I think she was a little taken aback on my word problem though. The classmate said it might be because of my drive, that my drive is unusual.

Drive? What drive? The drive to find the perfect word I wanted in the first place? I never have doubts about what I want. It's just not always THERE, so then I have to go on a wild goose chase for the blasted thing.

Well I wanted to say more...But I have that appointment in 5 minutes so I'll wrap this up in a part two afterwords. (I always thought that afterward went to afterwards, I learnt otherwise just yesterday)

Regards from Purgatory,
Monica