The Perfect Recipe Can Always Go Wrong

So I got it in my head to cook today.

Yes, me.

Now excuse me while I go off on a tangent....

UPS came banging on my door this afternoon. A bit after 4, I believe. Miki had just left so Evan was on his way out the door and low and behold someone knocked. (No one ever knocks. Because there is no one.) He had two boxes. For me! I can't remember the last time I signed one of those neato clipboards of theirs (which never picks up my awesome signature) but I can tell you that it certainly wasn't for me. We used to get UPS at the family business and I'd always sign for the packages.

But there were two boxes, right?

You know how someone always looks at a package and says "Oh look you got a (blank)!" Because that's what's on the box, but they're wrong?

Evan pointed and said "Look you got a mattress!" And you know what? He was right.

As soon as I saw who the boxes were from, My Aunt Jackie, I knew exactly what was in them. An air mattress, pump, and it's special fitted sheets. Boo ya!

I opened them after he left and discovered many other things though. Like a SHIT LOAD of towels (not sure they'll fit in the closet, to be honest) and a glass cooking pan (my first) and a matching kitchen towel set that had hot pads in it too. They are cute.

So moving on.

When Evan and I showed up, Miki was on her way out the door to a class that she really shouldn't be taking. It's bad enough she's out till 8 on Monday and Wednesday, She doesn't need to do it on Thursday too. Specially since she stays up so late working on papers, and since we don't have net at the house (tomorrow we will) staying up till 1 working on a paper is dangerous, and way too much for her.

So she was a dead man walking on her way out so I asked her what she wanted for dinner. She was so exhausted that she was like "....food?"

I bet she didn't even eat lunch.

So I said I'd take care of it.

As soon as Evan left I got prepared. I wanted to make something good. Something that took time and was tasty. Something that kept me occupied for a few hours.

I decided chicken noodle soup. I'm sure your thinking "Oh yeah! She's got lots of cans in the cupboard!" But as I was ruminating on this and peering into the fridge I reach up to grab some popcorn....And met the wine in my cupboard.

Hello. How are you? Nice to meet you, you blushing wine you.

So I snatched the pinkish thing out of the cupboard (somehow I ended up with two packs of those little tiny bottle of wine), some chicken broth from the cupboard, Boullion cubes, flower, chicken from the freezer, noodles from the cupboard, onions, garlic, and carrots.

I'm a genius.

I've also discovered that there is such thing as too much butter. Yes, I know: It's a long time coming. But I LIKE butter!

So I started sauteeing the onions in the biggest pan I had with a half a brick of butter (I know, I know) and when the butter was almost gone and started to smoke and burn I remembered the garlic.

Oh crap!

I'm multitasking like mad, here. I'm not the recipe type, and I'm not the prepared type either. The garlic was in the fridge, same with the carrots. I was chopping the onions while my butter was burning....

But while I'm crushing garlic and trying to save the onions and butter I'm rescuing the chicken from the sink water and trying to chop it too. Luckily I remember to flip the cutting board over and switch knives. Thank the Gods for moms and advice: chicken really is easier to slice if it's still partway frozen.

I toss the little chunks into flour that I've mixed pepper and salt into and try to keep the onions from congealing at the same time.

Luckily I succeed.

I scrape the onions out and toss in the chicken and some of that blush wine. Of course, this is the moment that my smoke detector decides to inform me that I had forgotten to turn on the fan and that it did not appreciate my lack of courtesy.

For extra good measures I opened the window as well.

Damn that alarm is loud though! My cat about shot through the roof when it went off!

Poor Ryou >.<;;;

So why the chicken is popping and hissing (or maybe that's the wine?) in the pan I'm trying to figure out what comes next. Namely the carrots I have to chop. Which I did not manage to swith knives for, more pepper, the broth can that needed opening, oh what the heck: let's add more wine.

I think I used the whole (little) bottle. But then I did have a few swigs for me too :)

This is where it gets fuzzy: I remember this part being complicated but looking back on it, it doesn't seem full of that many things.

I poured in the broth, 3 cans of water, more wine, and a boullion cube, added the onions and garlic back in, tossed in a bit of flower for thickening, and finally all of the carrots.

And more flour just for kicks. It wasn't thickening enough for me.

So it took a while. I was working from like 4 somethin until 6 somethin on this bloody thing. And though okay I'll let it simmer and add noodles when Miki gets home.

But then I thought...don't noodles soak up more and get softer the longer they are in the soup?

So i added more water, another boullion cube and some pepper, and tossed in a bunch of fettucine noodles while bringing it up to a boil. I kept a close eye on it until it was done and then shut the burner off: I have an electric stove so I wasn't worried about it having enough heat.

And then I sat down to wait.

And wait. and wait.

I watched a movie, ate popcorn....So then I decidd to have the soup. The bad thing about an electric stove and a large full pot is that it takes forever to reheat. Also? If you mak this recipe....don't add so much flour. It thickened like mad by the time 8:30 rolled around. Most of the water was gone and everything. So I tried added more water and heating it up so that it would be warm for Miki and I but I was starving and it was taking to long.

So I said screw it and dished up a cold bowl.

Never again. It was too good. It was rich, and thick, not too chicken brothy or salty, and had a good flavor from the wine, and the chicken was soooo tender. *drools*

But it sank into my belly like something cold, dead, and slimy. I couldn't drink the broth, the chicken tasted like ash. It sucked. It sucked so bad. I know I did good, I know it tastes good. I dunno whether it was because it was cold, or because I hurt all over, or whether I ruined my appetite from popcorn and waiting so long for dinner....

Or whether it was just because I was eating alone.

That's how it always happens. No one ever witnesses my great masterpieces. I always make them alone, and eat them alone. It sucks. Once, I made myself a really nice dinner (in a cold empty house. The grandparents were in Texas for 5 months and my mum was in Hawaii) with place settings and the nice silver and real tea (loose leaves) and desert, and candles.

And had a date with myself while I cried. It felt like that. Cept I knew where my certain little Japanese girl was, so I went to hunt her down. So here I am, in this blasted computer lab next to Mikiko with a souring soup filled belly trying to convince her to go home to eat.

Did I mention that it smells REALLY good and that I totally scalded my tongue on a hot piece of delicious chicken?

Regards from Purgatory,
Monica