Murphy Strikes Again

City Hall has been running us through the ringer.

I first suspected that something was wrong when the 5th of the month passed and I still hadn't received my electric bill.

Now, for those of you that don't receive these mysterious things, they usually arrive between the 1st and the 5th and you are expected to pay them by the 15th, just like clockwork, every single month.

So after a few days of truancy, I swung by City Hall. There were many things wrong with this idea, though.

1. I was walking with my new roommate and her best friend, and we were eating ice cream. Short attention span much?

2. City Hall was jammed full of people. Normally I'd shoulder my way in and "patiently" wait my turn, but you don't really understand: Monmouth's City Hall has about 3X7 feet of standing room, and two "friendly" secretaries (isn't it funny how they aren't that friendly at all?) and there was a growling dog, 3 wailing children, two ladies in pajama's, and my postman was attempting to force his way through the door.

I don't think so.

3. I decided to ask my postman if he knew what had happened to my mail, or if they were running late because he appeared to be carrying 100 letters in his hot little fist.

I love my mailman dearly, I think his name is Ben. Cute accent, blue eyes, very friendly...Sadly, he is blond and there is absolutely nothing going on up there. I thought it was uncanny how it was so easy to make small talk with him! Turns out, he's just desperate to talk about things he can follow. You try something complicated like "Do you have a hobby?" And you've lost him for the count.

Needless to say, asking him about my mail didn't go very well.

"Hey Ben, how are you?"

"uh...Um...Oh! Hi!"

"Are the electricity bills running late?" *points at letters* (Oddly enough, he clutches them to his chest like a child trying to protect his stuffed animal.)

"Uh...What?"

"The electricity bills? Mine's running late. Have you already delivered them?"

"Oh, uh...Um...I think these are shut-off notices." *shifts awkwardly* "Uhm..."

*sighs* "Have you delivered the electricity bills already, then?"

*blinks dazedly* "Maybe, uh....you can ask inside?"

We both peer at the ruckus and rear back a little.

"Uhm...I'll see you later, Ben."

And I kept walking.

So a few days later, I jumped the other mailperson, a woman. The first time I met her, she was quite unfriendly I tell you. But now? She's my beeeesssteeessst frieeeeend!

She helps out when things go wrong. Like when two weeks after Mikiko left I was still getting her mail even though technically it was supposed to be being forwarded. We had our doubts, but when Miki filled out the card we specifically asked the Post Master if it would be forwarded even to Japan, and he assured us YES. Definitely YES.

Well, the hospital bill I delivered to the nice lady (whilst I was in my pajamas) delivering mail across the street testifies otherwise. She said she'd take care of it, so I figured she'd be the next person to talk to about my bill.

She was on the corner several blocks from my place, and to her credit, she still recognized me.

Well, Ben can spot me from four blocks away and wave (while shouting) at any point in his route, but not everyone can add up to that, I should think.

So I asked "So if theoreticially my electricity bill had two names on it, and one of the people named on there had moved and were having their mail forwarded...If their name came on the envelope first, would it have been forwarded as well?"

She said yes, so when by the 13th I had no bill, I attacked City Hall.

"I need my electricity bill."

Type type type type. "Yes?"

"I need my bill, it never made it to me."

Type type type type. "Address please."

I gave it to her.

"We mailed it."

Continues typing.

"Uhm. I still need it. It never made it."

"I sent it myself. It made it. You must have done something to it." Pauses. "Why are you bothering me if you did something to your bill?"

I made a heroic effort at not rolling my eyes. "It must've gotten forwarded. My roommate moved out and her name came first. I definitely don't have it."

This stops her entirely, and I got the death glare of doom.

"Bills go straight to your house. Not the person. You must have lost it." She shoves her chair back. "I would've gotten it back if it was ruined or you dropped it in the box by accident." Then she proceeds to tear through her filing drawer, in a temper.

So suddenly this is my fault?

"Wait." Death glare of doom is on my face again. "You're roommate moved out. Her name should be no longer on there. So it's your fault."

I stare. "Well...That's another thing I need to take care of."

"She....he.....This Mickey person will have to come in and take care of this themselves. Good day."

She started typing again.

Oh for the love of....

"Ma'am." I lean across the counter. "When we made this account, we asked if I could take her name off without her being here, and the desk lady informed me I could." I pause. "I will have to assume this person was you. Did I hear incorrectly?"

"She has to do it herself. Can you ask her to come in and do this? It needs to be done right away."

"She's in Japan."

Holy cow she has stopped typing again. It must be Armageddon or something.

"Can you ask her to come in?"

It's official. I have met someone more dense than my postman. Sorry Ben.

"Look. She is in Japan. She is not coming back. If there is paperwork she has to sign. I can mail it. Heck, I can give you the ADDRESS to mail it to her. But she's not coming here."

She blinks. "We can mail it?"

"YES!"

"She needs to give us a call, then." type type type. "Then we'll mail it to her. Have a nice day."

I'm about ready to strangle her at this point, but I knew this was as good as I was going to get. "Could I at least have my electricity bill?"

She opens her mouth, shuts it, and good Lord she's stopped typing again. "Yes."

She prints it. And I leave.

Pulling teeth, I tell you.

Made me wish I had had my checkbook with me at the time.

Well, I told Miki, and she tried calling them for three days straight. Poor Miki. I'm not certain exactly what was going wrong. But she had no luck calling them. Her email back to me was quite distressed.

Now I feel guilty >.<

The good news is, I received my electricity bill on Saturday!

The weird news is, that was the 31st. Paranoid much? Miki's name is still first, though. I'm sure my roommate will love that when she finally actually moves in. She hasn't, yet. Not until Mid-August I'm thinking. Maybe late August.

With my luck she'll turn up after I've been gone for several days and the cats will ahve done something unforgivable.

Thank you cats. I love you dearly.

The same day as the electricity bill, I got a notice from my loans. I had gotten one early in the summer, right after school got out, but I had ignored it. After all, I'm still in school, yeah?

Well, apparently not: This was a notice of late payment, and $45 in interest.

What The Heck?

The nice thing about school loans is that they don't charge you interest or require you to pay anything until you are out of school. But when I last checked, going into Senior Year and already being signed up for Fall Term does not qualify as being "done with school".

So why is my loan coming up already?

I hate bureaucracy.

Regards from Purgatory,

Monica

p.s. Have I mentioned that i'm running late on my Financial Aid again? Don't even get me started on my taxes. Let alone my mother's. Love you Mom.