Memories

Before I started this blog was New Student week here at WOU. I skipped out on a lot of mandatory things, actually. I now wonder how the heck I wasn't so bored considering I was without a computer for the first week or so.

But I was feeling guilty for not participating too much, so when I saw a booth at the sidewalk fair barbecue thingy for an activity I wandered over. I had seen a few activity type thingies, actually. Including a midnight movie. But I had no car so that was nixed.

So I peered in. Normally I wouldn't do this sort of thing. When I was required to do volunteer hours to graduate from highschool I did something worthwhile that actually meant something. I ran different activities and watched kids at an after school program. I had real responsibilities: I didn't have to be baby sat.

But when I learned about what volunteer activities were being offered, I had an inkling that it was a scam.

I mean, a volunteer trip to help on a farm? Goodness knows the silly college students would have no idea what they were doing and would need their hands held the entire time! The other trip was to recycle books. Booooring! But the third...Was to help kids make crafts.

Sounds fun, right?

Cept it turns out, that we're helping Mexican kids. Okay, that's fine. Except not a single one of them speaks English, and my Spanish definitely was NOT up to snuff.

It turns out to be a Mexican community. It's a specialized place with low rent specifically for Mexican workers that work on farms. We were expected to help the kids make Halloween candy buckets out of Milk Cartons.

Now, it was pretty obvious that we were slowing things down and the parents just though that we were children too and to be pitied and giggled at. But these "volunteers" tried their hardest to do "something good for the world".

I just wanted me little friend to have the best milk carton halloween bucket she could make. I stick to that.

Have you ever met the crazy volunteer for life types? The ones that think they are making a worldwide difference everytime they help out with something? that think it's essential to life?

A more naive person I have never met. I just needed something to do. A lot of these kids have now decided that volunteering is their life mission.

I feel sorry for the staff at the farm, to be honest. Babysitting college students *shakes head*.

So the girl I helped: She was so adorable! Very cute, very small. Knew practically no English and was too shy to say anything about my wretched Spanish. Wouldn't be able to tell you her name if you paid me.

But the other day when I was rocking out to my mp3 player about a block from home, on my way home, a little girl and her mum walked by me. And then the little girl stopped absolutely dead in the middle of the sidewalk to stare at me. Dropped her mum's hand and everything.

Took me am oment to notice, and by then they were moving on.

But what the fuck? Did I have a booger hanging from my nose or something?

I took a few days to think about it, and talked it over with Miki (who figured the girl stared cause I was so tall) and then I saw her again today!

It's that same girl that I helped WAY back in September, and she did the same staring act today. I asked her if she remembered me and she said yes (in English I notice) but when I tried to say hello how are you in Spanish she just stared some more until her mome laughed, said something about me, and drug her off.

What the heck?

Why did she notice me? Why did she stop and stare? Did I make an impression on her? Sure I thought she was a pretty kid, and odd since she was so quiet and precocious. But it wasn't much more than that, you know? It happened MONTHS ago! If you mentioned her, sure I'd remember. But I wouldn't stop dead in the street and stare at her. Heck: I didn't even recognize her at first. She's grown up quite a bit, actually.

But why did she stare at me, I wonder? Did I make a huge impression on her? How so?

I remember looking up to people older than I when I was her age. I remember fantasizing about them and staring and begging them silently to look at me, to remember me, to show some recognition. For them to be my best friend.

Is that what she is doing? What exactly is she thinking when she sees me? She can't hate me or think I'm terrible (although my Spanish is) cause she smiled and giggled when I asked if she knew me.

But WHY?! It bothers me! Am I a role model? Will we meet years and years in the future and become friends? Will she hunt me down to know me? Will we have a torrid affair? WHAT?!

I'm obsessing quite badly I admit.

But before we get married: I should probably figure out her name :D (jk on the marriage thing)

Oh btw? I suspect she lives close to my house now. Which means she doesn't live in the community anymore. I wonder how close she is and how I can hopefully spot her again?

Maybe I should write out a secret message in Spanish and slip it to her when I next see her...lmao

I'm ridiculous, huh?

Regards from Purgatory,

Monica