Look Ma! Two Posts in One Week!

The snow kinda melted today. Which was sad. But there is still plenty in the lawn, even if it's damp and unpleasant to play in. It's 3 a.m. and I'm finding myself staying up to see when it snows again. It's supposed to snow tonight. Last time it snowed at 5 in the morning, so I guess that I'm up for a long night....It'll be worth it, though. I love to watch the snow fall.

This holiday seems to have been a long one. It's only Friday, albeit rather early in the morning on Friday, and I've only been here in Yakima since Monday, but it feels like I've been here forever.

My cats, my t.v., my new bed, my blankets....they seem like a washed-out dream from far, far, away that can barely touch me anywhere but in my dreams. The warm heavy feeling of my polar fleece blanket and the gritty crumpled feeling of my sheets are fading into obscurity. My back isn't thanking me for my sojourn, however. No matter how well I've been sleeping at night, an air mattress isn't the best choice in the world to sleep on if you are prone to back problems.

It's interesting: I really can sleep anywhere. A desk, a bench, against a wall, on the floor, on an air mattress, in a damp and freezing tent. But when I sleep next to someone, I almost always wake at the crack of dawn. Whether I go back to sleep or get up depends on how thoroughly I awaken, but I always do this.

Why don't I when I'm in a stranger's house sleeping alone?

I wish I knew.

I hate that feeling of dislocation. That feeling you get when you wake suddenly, like someone shook you, and you have no idea where you are, or why, and you have the sudden urge to hit whoever comes into view first. Sometimes I wake up for no reason, and sometimes I have the dire urge to pee, or get a drink. But I always fling my eyes open like something's startled me. I won't move, I won't sit up, I'll just lie there and wonder "Why? Why is this happening?"

Sometimes I'll get fed up with it, stalk out to the couch, and sleep there. Others I wake up, resigned, and either watch t.v., or read. Occasionally, though, I lie there under the sun comes up, or until I pass out. Whichever comes first.

I kind of wish I've been having this feeling in my Aunt Jackie's house, in her spare bedroom, sleeping on the slowly leaking air mattress: then I wouldn't feel like I'm slowly leaving my life in Monmouth behind.

Regards,

Monica